Don’t assume couples counseling is appropriate simply because you’re in a difficult relationship. Maybe you personally are committed to the marriage or partnership, but recognize that all the hoping, pleading, and even praying, is not changing anything.
There is nothing more distressing than feeling your spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend is moving even further away and nothing you’re doing is working. Nothing makes you feel more helpless or vulnerable.
Your life together may have been this way for a long time. At time, it feels more than you can tolerate. If this happens a lot, it makes sense to be leaning out of the relationship — not knowing whether you can tolerate the status quo or if separation/divorce is the best choice. Or should you give one last ditch, whole hearted effort to heal the marriage? How do you decide on next steps?
Imagine a process by which the counselor doesn’t impose a decision for you or your partner, but truly helps you explore your authentic self and what is right for you. In one to five sessions of focused Discernment Counseling, you can best make what is likely the most important decision of your life. If children are involved, you can make the right decision for them, as well.
The stakes are high. Whatever you do, you want it done with both confidence and clarity. With special training, a qualified discernment counselor can help you understand what happened between the two of you and what your next steps should be.
I would consider it a great privilege to help you make a thoughtful and thorough decision. You may want to start by checking out discernmentcounseling.com or my blogpost of September 1, 2014, Deciding Between Individual Or Couples Counseling?
In the video below you can hear directly from Dr. Bill Doherty, the developer of Discernment Counseling. He shares about how this approach may be helpful to you and your family.